Over the last several weeks my wife and I have been going through the process of applying for a foreign exchange student. My wife received an email about a program in Iowa that was short on host parents, so we tossed the idea around for a few days. I felt this would be a wonderful opportunity to minister to a teen, and perhaps to strengthen their faith and share the gospel of Jesus Christ, whether they are Christian or Muslim. The students for this program all come from either Nigeria or Tanzania, and are approximately 50% Christian and 50% Muslim.

After a week or so of examining and reading student bio’s we chose a student from Nigeria. I am keeping his identity hidden to protect his privacy. We decided on a boy student because we felt for our first year it might work out better due to the fact that we have 2 boys ourselves.

Over the last couple of weeks we have been preparing our spare bedroom for his arrival. The students are already all in the United States and have to do orientation for their stay here in America. They also get to take a trip to Washington D.C. to visit some of the historic sites from America’s history. In 3 days we will travel to Omaha to pick up our student. We are extremely excited to meet him and to start our yearlong journey. We can’t wait to teach him some American culture, watch him experience some American foods (which they have almost no exposure to). In the process we hope to learn more about his home culture as well.

All in all we hope the whole experience goes well and that our student can learn about American life in a Christian home as well as teach us about his own country and customs. If this goes well this year we just may continue to do this every year from now on.

I will be sharing some of this experience on this blog over the next year. How much I will share about our student has yet to be decided, and will be up to them.

Yesterday our pastor was going through Hebrews 12:25-29.

See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.  Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”

And it really got me thinking about God’s Wrath in the coming judgement upon the earth. If you were in a room and someone ran into the room screaming that there was a fire, and they knew the only way out of the building. Wouldn’t we be foolish not to heed this advice? Or would we doubt this and risk perishing in the flames? This is what the first part of this passage is speaking about. Jesus came to warn us of the coming judgement, and to give us the way out at the same time.

Looking back at my life before Christ changed me, I can see that I was already amidst the flames and about to be consumed. The Wrath of God was something to that didn’t pertain to me. If I wasn’t a sinner then I couldn’t be under God’s Judgement. How foolish an idea this really is. Now that I am under Grace, I can understand the implications of God’s wrath. Nothing impure can or will escape God’s wrath. So much so that not even the Heaven’s or the Earth will escape the fire of God.

Revelation 6:12-17

I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as late figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. They called to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?”

I don’t even like to think about what the world will be like when all the world are trying to hide in caves and praying for death to save them from looking upon God’s face.

God has provided an escape for us from His own wrath and judgement in Jesus Christ. One cannot think about God’s Grace of salvation through Jesus Christ and not be grateful to the point of tears. Our response to this gift of salvation must be worship. If we are saved we must worship God with gratitude and fear. We must fear God in the sense that we know what our penalty should be, had we not been graced with salvation. The more I learn about God and His grace, the more I fear Him; for I know what I have been saved from. I know what my God is capable of.

Our “God is a consuming fire” and all of creation will pass through it. Either we will be consumed by the fire of His wrath or we will be refined and purified by it through His grace and sanctification.

Zechariah 13:9

This third I will bring into the fire;
I will refine them like silver
and test them like gold.
They will call on my name
and I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’ “

As I think about this passage I have to be gratful for God’s mercy and grace that he has given me. I also am saddened for those who are left out, who will be cut off, and endure the fires of hell for eternity. I think about how I can testify to God’s grace to those I know and care about. How can I explain to them the importance of this truth. And if I could, would they believe it and repent? Or, will they continue on in sin?

Only God knows how His holy plan will unveil. We are at His mercy. I pray that we will have the courage to walk through the doors that He opens and humility to walk away from the doors that He closes.

Over the past 6 months to a year or so, I’ve been struggling with Calvinism vs. Semi-Pelagianism and where my beliefs fit in. At first I didn’t even know the difference between the two, and didn’t even know what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism were. All I knew was what I was taught, and what other believers around me believed (Semi-Pelagianism).

At some point I was involved in a discussion/debate about Calvinism. I don’t even remember who that debate was with or really all what was said, I just remember wanting to know more about what Calvinism was, and it’s opposite Arminianism. I was also getting more curious about church history and what the early church founders believed about these issues. I decided at this point it was time to do some research of my own.

Over the next few months I started digging into the doctrine of Calvinism and it’s five points. And this is where I started running into some serious stumbling blocks, or issues that I had to come to terms with before I really could determine where I stood.

The Five Points of Calvinism:

• T – Total Depravity
• U – Unconditional Election
• L – Limited Atonement
• I – Irresistible Grace
• P – Perseverance of the Saints

In the beginning of my studies of Calvinism/Monergism I completely agreed with Total Depravity, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints. I had some serious issues with Unconditional Election and Limited Atonement. At this point I considered myself a 3 point Calvinist. I was determined however to come to terms with these other two points no matter what it took.

My first stumbling block to tackle was Unconditional Election or Predestination. At this point I had some serious issues with this belief according to all that I was taught, and also my own personal conceptions on God’s calling or predestination. As I started really digging into scripture that talked about predestination, I had to come to terms with several issues that were raised if several pieces of scripture were true. My biggest issues were with Romans 8:28-30, and with almost all of Romans 9.

(Romans 8:28-30) 28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

One of the questions I had was: “How could man have ‘Free Will’ and be predestined/called at the same time?”. I made the assumption that if someone was predestined then their ‘free will’ didn’t really exist. I thought that if predestination were true then all mankind were just robots just marching around doing what “destiny” had predetermined us to do. Previously I had come up with a compromise to this issue. I essentially believed in conditional election at that point. That God Foreknew the choices we would make, and predestined us according to those choices. Scripturally this is completely inaccurate, and I had to come to that realization in order to understand predestination. The other issue I had to understand before I could fully grasp predestination was the concept of man’s “free will”. Do we have a “free will” and can that “free will” trump God’s will? The way I understand it now is this: we do not have “free will”. Man has a will, as God created us in His image. However; our will was damaged and corrupted when Adam sinned. When Adam sinned all parts of humanity were stained and marred by this corruption, not excluding man’s will. What does this mean? It means that everything that we “will” is corrupted by our sinful natures. Once I understood this basic concept about man’s will, the rest of predestination made sense. What it meant was that man does have a will, however man’s will cannot trump God’s perfect and all powerful will, and plan for humanity. Now I will admit that I don’t have a total and complet understanding of this concept of man’s will versus God’s will, and maybe I never will. I do understand that if God is all powerful then nothing man will’s can trump God’s authority no matter what our pride tells us. I think the whole idea of man’s so called “free will” is a prideful, and self-glorifying concept. We want to feel that we have control over our lives, that we can control our destiny. If we feel we have control of our own lives then we are essentially glorifying ourselves over God. In reality what do we really have complete control of? If we really sit down and think hard about that, unless we completely dilute ourselves we cannot deny that our lives are for the most part completely out of our control.

Once I understood that concept about man’s will, my perceptions of our Total Depravity became much clearer as well. I also started to realize that what I had believed about how we come to salvation in Jesus Christ was skewed as well. I could no longer accept the idea that somehow man could choose Christ in any way, because every choice, thought, will man makes is marred completely by sin.

The following two videos I think explain this view quite well.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdV9474j6uE]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJD_mrrl7TI]

The other concept that I had to come to terms with or gain a proper understanding of, was the concept of the atonement of Jesus Christ death on the cross. Was that atonement granted to all people that ever lived as I had originally thought/ or been taught? Or was Jesus death only for those who believed. A little more study into the NT greek language lent some more understanding on this issue as well as a little bit of Logical deduction. Logically one could surmise that Jesus Christ’s death was not for all people. If Jesus died to atone for the sins of the world, then all people would be saved, meaning none would go to Hell. Now we know scripturally that some will go to Hell so this would mean that Jesus failed in some fashion. This is a biblical fallacy. I discovered some interesting information while researching the passages used to promote the idea that Jesus death was for “all” or “the whole world” (as some people come to understand the translation). I found that the greek word pas (pa=v) which translates to all among other words, was almost entirely dependant on the context in use. In most cases the context of all would lead one to surmise a specific group of people or things.

These are just some of the things that I have struggled with during my studies. I have not included a very inclusive list of references as this is mainly just a summary. I can however list the many references/scripture passages I have studied to come to these conclusions if so asked.

Over the last few years, i.e. since I have been married, and especially over the last year; I have started to see a major emotional problem that I have developed growing up. My emotional problem has been Suppressed Emotional Expression. I grew up in a drug abusive, and alcoholic family, which was not good for the emotional well being of any child. The two main emotions expressed in my house were extreme anger or sadness or despair. I was very emotional as a child, I think part of this was in response to my family life and circumstances. This was clearly unacceptable to my father, who made it clear that men do not cry and if I wanted to be a man I wouldn’t cry about every little thing. At some point in my teen years I began suppressing almost all of my emotions. I’m not exactly sure at what point this started however, I believe it began around the time of my severe depression and drug use in my late teens. As a result of this emotional suppression for the last 12 years I have struggled with properly expressing most of my emotions.

My biggest problem has been my short fuse. It seems that it doesn’t really take that much to blow my top, and naturally my anger is usually disproportionate to the situation. My anger is the only real emotion that I don’t have a problem expressing. What initially caused me to start looking into my emotional problems was the problems that quickly began to arise in my marriage. These problems ultimately culminated in an affair and pretty much forced us to face our problems as a couple and to address our own personal issues as well. We sought treatment from a counselor to assist us in dealing with our issues personally as well as maritally. This caused me to really investigate where my problem stemmed from and then how to address it.

Part of the solution has been an acknowledgment of the problem itself. This in itself didn’t fix the problem, but it has helped me to consciously attempt to remedy it. The other more amazing solution has been my acceptance of Christ a little over a year ago. Since then I have noticed an amazing improvement in my ability to express my emotions in a more sensible manner. I still struggle everyday with my anger issue and will probably continue to struggle with it for the rest of my life.

There is a common saying that, “Time heals all wounds.” However I don’t believe that is true. Here is a more true saying “Christ heals all wounds.” This is a realization that I have come to over the last year or so; that Christ wants my heart to be healed, and He will heal it if I entrust Him with it. I’ve also realized that God brought me through all the troubles of my life and childhood so that I would place my trust and faith in Him. I have endured hardship and struggle so that I would trust in His wisdom rather than that of men, so that I would glorify Him over everything.

Look at the stars. The most universally awesome experience that mankind knows is to stand alone on a clear night and look at the stars. It was God who first set the stars in space: He is their Maker and Master – they are all in His hands and subject to His will. Such are His power and His majesty. – JI Packer

This is so amazingly true. I can never look up into the sky and behold all of it’s wonder without thinking how awesome He is. His power is so great that our infinitesimal universe is only a tiny little fraction of His amazing power. He placed each and every single star in the heavens and knows each of them by name. Even more so with us. He lovingly formed each and every one of us in our mother’s wombs and He wants so much to be a part of our lives, if we’ll let him. He cares so much about our puny wretched little lives that He took on flesh and bore our punishment! I think about how I felt about God before my eyes were opened. I hated Him, but He still loved me anyway. He died for me when I was His enemy, and all He asked me to do is to believe in Him. Is there anything more awesome than this?! How can there be?

I recently watched one of my favorite movies; Facing The Giants. I love this movie so much because I know what it’s like to despair, to be so afraid of failing in every way, to be so desperate that you’d do almost anything for relief. It helps me to remember how awesome God is in every way, and every thing that He does. Another thing that I love about this movie is how it helps me to remember what God can do in my life when I submit to His will, and let Him show me that nothing is impossible when I believe and have faith in Him. Oh how the world needs to see how awesome our God is. We need to see and know that God is more than able to handle any burden we give to Him.

These are just some of the thoughts racing through my mind early this morning. I was moved to tears this morning while watching this movie, not because of the movie. It moved me because of the amazing things God has done in my life, despite of all that I have done and said. It moved me because of all the blessings God has given me, despite the wretched heart I had. This is how awesome God is, and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg.

After reading an article in my local newspaper(Grand Island Independent) yesterday, it got me thinking about our society and the trends arising from evolution being taught in public schools. The article had nothing to do with evolution or schools, it was about a couple of young adults who were being charged with child abuse in the death of their 7 week old infant. Now granted on the surface this has nothing to do with evolution. If we dig a little deeper however we see underlying issues that are on the rise in our society. One of these issues is the rise in child abuse and infanticide. The writer of the article interviewed Diann Muhlbach, the coordinator of the Coalition for Children and secretary of the Association of Child Abuse Prevention in Grand Island who was quoted as saying, “Our biggest challenge is getting people to understand a child is a valuable human being. If you have something that’s valuable to you, you take care of it. A child is a precious gift.”

I see a big problem when a child advocate says that their biggest challenge is convincing parents their children are a valuable human being. This is a direct result of what evolution teaches our young people in public schools. They teach them that we are nothing but another animal, a highly evolved animal and that we don’t have to answer to anyone but ourselves. With this kind of attitude about life it’s no wonder our young adults have no value for life or their own children. We also see the trend of abortion increasing steadily, which is another result of evolutionary theory.

Muhlbach was also quoted as saying, “We need to look at how we value children. How do we get people to look at children as valuable?” I would have to agree, society needs to look at how we look at our children. I also have an answer for her second question. How do we get people to look at children as valuable? All People need to look at children as God sees them. God values each and every life that He creates, and forms each and every being by His own hand with lovingkindness. If society looked at human life as God does then society would have a wholly different attitude.

Update (3-4-2008)

This is a forum where I state/express my views and my perceptions. This is not an open forum to debate these views or perceptions. If I wanted to debate my views on creation or evolution I would go to one of those such forums. I recently had to delete several comments due to this reason. Those people who want to discuss my views or my perceptions can either do it in a positive encouraging way or go somewhere else to do this as I will not post any comments with the intent of bashing, berating, or malice. If those people do not like my views or the fact that I will moderate every comment that gets posted publicly they do not have to come here and read my views or look at my blog.