Over that last year or so I have been feeling the call to preach the gospel. At first I didn’t know what to think, however over the months the call has gotten stronger. I hadn’t shared this with anyone but my wife until just recently as I wasn’t sure if it was where God was leading me and probably more importantly if I was ready to obey God’s call. Fortunately over the past couple of months God has affirmed to me the call that I doubted, and He has grown my faith and wisdom considerably.

Just Friday I made the next step in the process of Ordination or process of going in the ministry of the Church. I had a long overdue talk with our wonderful pastor at Grace Covenant Church in Grand Island. We talked about my walk with Christ, my history, our family history/testimony, the call I have had to the ministry and the process in the Presbytery. Afterward, I felt even more excited to begin this process and amazingly blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive church family.

The next step in this process is finding the right school to attend that will teach sound reformed doctrine and hopefully at the right price. However the cost I am dedicated to continue the process whether it be full time or one class at a time.

I can’t help but feel more gratitude each and everyday, as God works in my life and those around me. I can only praise God for His divine grace and mercy in saving me, a wretched sinner. God works in amazing ways in His children and throughout their lives. I see the gratitude that Paul had now more than ever going from Church persecutor to Gospel preacher to the Gentiles. I too was once a Church persecutor, and now maybe through the grace of God I’ll be half the preacher Paul was.

On Saturday August 15th we began our journey for the next 9 months with our new foreign exchange student, Samuel. We have opened up a new chapter in our lives, and have opened our door to experience a different culture. We also hope to teach our new friend a little about American culture (good & bad) as well as encourage him in his walk with Christ.

It has only been 5 full days since he joined us and we have already learned quite a bit about his culture in Nigeria. Where he has come from doesn’t give him some of the blessings that we have so we have had to teach him how to do many of the things that we do everyday and take for granted. Many of the appliances that we use on a daily basis he has never been exposed to. This in itself has been an eye opening experience. This has made me really count my blessings all the more as each day passes. So far one of the things that has been most surprising to me is how polite and obedient he has been. We were told that he would be very polite however we didn’t expect that he would be so obedient and enthusiastic about doing some of the most mundane tasks. The other day Samuel gave us a little insight as to why he is so obedient. He told us that in Nigeria it is customary that any person who is senior to you either by age or status, you must do anything they tell you to do. He told us that if a person does not obey they would likely be beaten, and nobody would say anything. He has great respect for his elders.

We have also learned that in Nigerian culture if one does not attend either a church or a mosque they are considered very evil. The rate of divorce is also low there due to the fact that many villages and churches do not allow divorce. It is also frowned upon heavily. Samuel told us this was one of the things that surprised him about America was the high divorce rate and amount of people who don’t attend a church service.

We did expect there to be surprises when we started this adventure and we have not been disappointed. We know there will continue to be surprises and challenges ahead for all of us. We are excitedly looking forward to our next week as Samuel gets into American football and the games ahead, as well as the start of the school year on next Wednesday.

Over the last several weeks my wife and I have been going through the process of applying for a foreign exchange student. My wife received an email about a program in Iowa that was short on host parents, so we tossed the idea around for a few days. I felt this would be a wonderful opportunity to minister to a teen, and perhaps to strengthen their faith and share the gospel of Jesus Christ, whether they are Christian or Muslim. The students for this program all come from either Nigeria or Tanzania, and are approximately 50% Christian and 50% Muslim.

After a week or so of examining and reading student bio’s we chose a student from Nigeria. I am keeping his identity hidden to protect his privacy. We decided on a boy student because we felt for our first year it might work out better due to the fact that we have 2 boys ourselves.

Over the last couple of weeks we have been preparing our spare bedroom for his arrival. The students are already all in the United States and have to do orientation for their stay here in America. They also get to take a trip to Washington D.C. to visit some of the historic sites from America’s history. In 3 days we will travel to Omaha to pick up our student. We are extremely excited to meet him and to start our yearlong journey. We can’t wait to teach him some American culture, watch him experience some American foods (which they have almost no exposure to). In the process we hope to learn more about his home culture as well.

All in all we hope the whole experience goes well and that our student can learn about American life in a Christian home as well as teach us about his own country and customs. If this goes well this year we just may continue to do this every year from now on.

I will be sharing some of this experience on this blog over the next year. How much I will share about our student has yet to be decided, and will be up to them.

Throughout the last week or so leading up to July 4th, I’ve been doing some serious thinking, and praying for our country, it’s leaders and it’s citizens. I think what set this off was hearing the usual sayings around this time of year; “God Bless America.” I have a small problem with what that implies. It wasn’t until the last couple of years that it really dawned on me the irony of that saying. The irony being that this country(that I dearly love) has been more blessed than any other country in the world a hundred times over; and yet we hear this message repeated every year on and around July 4th. “God Bless America!” God has blessed America greatly, and unfortunately most Americans continually turn their backs to Him when it really counts. Most of America only turns to God when they need something from Him. As Americans we pride ourselves on our independence, so much so that we feel we can be independent from the one who authored our liberty. Only when our way of life is threatened do we fall to our knees and beg for God to step in and save us. It really should be no surprise then when God turns His back upon us. We should expect this, however God is more gracious than we could possibly imagine or comprehend. He continually blesses this country while this country continually spits in His face.

Oh how I wish this weren’t true. All one has to do though is look at the American culture, and one can only infer the obvious. We are a Godless country at heart.

This is why I have been fervently praying not only for our nations leaders, but also all American citizens. We continually squander the blessing that God so graciously pours down on us. It will not be long before His grace dries up like a stream, and we are left wandering through the desert.

I encourage all who read this and agree to join with me in praying for the heart of our nation. That God would soften the hearts of American citizens, and it’s leaders to repent and turn to God. Not only on this day of our independence but on everyday that we are blessed to be called Americans.

My most recent post at http://godstalkingtoday.blogspot.com

One of my posts at http://godstalkingtoday.blogspot.com

Yesterday our pastor was going through Hebrews 12:25-29.

See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.  Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”

And it really got me thinking about God’s Wrath in the coming judgement upon the earth. If you were in a room and someone ran into the room screaming that there was a fire, and they knew the only way out of the building. Wouldn’t we be foolish not to heed this advice? Or would we doubt this and risk perishing in the flames? This is what the first part of this passage is speaking about. Jesus came to warn us of the coming judgement, and to give us the way out at the same time.

Looking back at my life before Christ changed me, I can see that I was already amidst the flames and about to be consumed. The Wrath of God was something to that didn’t pertain to me. If I wasn’t a sinner then I couldn’t be under God’s Judgement. How foolish an idea this really is. Now that I am under Grace, I can understand the implications of God’s wrath. Nothing impure can or will escape God’s wrath. So much so that not even the Heaven’s or the Earth will escape the fire of God.

Revelation 6:12-17

I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as late figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. They called to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?”

I don’t even like to think about what the world will be like when all the world are trying to hide in caves and praying for death to save them from looking upon God’s face.

God has provided an escape for us from His own wrath and judgement in Jesus Christ. One cannot think about God’s Grace of salvation through Jesus Christ and not be grateful to the point of tears. Our response to this gift of salvation must be worship. If we are saved we must worship God with gratitude and fear. We must fear God in the sense that we know what our penalty should be, had we not been graced with salvation. The more I learn about God and His grace, the more I fear Him; for I know what I have been saved from. I know what my God is capable of.

Our “God is a consuming fire” and all of creation will pass through it. Either we will be consumed by the fire of His wrath or we will be refined and purified by it through His grace and sanctification.

Zechariah 13:9

This third I will bring into the fire;
I will refine them like silver
and test them like gold.
They will call on my name
and I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’ “

As I think about this passage I have to be gratful for God’s mercy and grace that he has given me. I also am saddened for those who are left out, who will be cut off, and endure the fires of hell for eternity. I think about how I can testify to God’s grace to those I know and care about. How can I explain to them the importance of this truth. And if I could, would they believe it and repent? Or, will they continue on in sin?

Only God knows how His holy plan will unveil. We are at His mercy. I pray that we will have the courage to walk through the doors that He opens and humility to walk away from the doors that He closes.

Over the last few years, i.e. since I have been married, and especially over the last year; I have started to see a major emotional problem that I have developed growing up. My emotional problem has been Suppressed Emotional Expression. I grew up in a drug abusive, and alcoholic family, which was not good for the emotional well being of any child. The two main emotions expressed in my house were extreme anger or sadness or despair. I was very emotional as a child, I think part of this was in response to my family life and circumstances. This was clearly unacceptable to my father, who made it clear that men do not cry and if I wanted to be a man I wouldn’t cry about every little thing. At some point in my teen years I began suppressing almost all of my emotions. I’m not exactly sure at what point this started however, I believe it began around the time of my severe depression and drug use in my late teens. As a result of this emotional suppression for the last 12 years I have struggled with properly expressing most of my emotions.

My biggest problem has been my short fuse. It seems that it doesn’t really take that much to blow my top, and naturally my anger is usually disproportionate to the situation. My anger is the only real emotion that I don’t have a problem expressing. What initially caused me to start looking into my emotional problems was the problems that quickly began to arise in my marriage. These problems ultimately culminated in an affair and pretty much forced us to face our problems as a couple and to address our own personal issues as well. We sought treatment from a counselor to assist us in dealing with our issues personally as well as maritally. This caused me to really investigate where my problem stemmed from and then how to address it.

Part of the solution has been an acknowledgment of the problem itself. This in itself didn’t fix the problem, but it has helped me to consciously attempt to remedy it. The other more amazing solution has been my acceptance of Christ a little over a year ago. Since then I have noticed an amazing improvement in my ability to express my emotions in a more sensible manner. I still struggle everyday with my anger issue and will probably continue to struggle with it for the rest of my life.

There is a common saying that, “Time heals all wounds.” However I don’t believe that is true. Here is a more true saying “Christ heals all wounds.” This is a realization that I have come to over the last year or so; that Christ wants my heart to be healed, and He will heal it if I entrust Him with it. I’ve also realized that God brought me through all the troubles of my life and childhood so that I would place my trust and faith in Him. I have endured hardship and struggle so that I would trust in His wisdom rather than that of men, so that I would glorify Him over everything.

Will you stand for Jesus at all costs? Will you die for Him if He so wills it? He stood for us and paid the ultimate price. Who do you stand for?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zBr96TNW70&rel=0]

So far all of my posts have been pretty positive, or about what we should be as Christians. However I think it’s time for a reality check. Every Christian, now matter how long they have been walking with Christ, struggles with something on a daily basis. This is just the nature of being human in a fallen state. Now granted we do have the Holy Spirit to guide us, but we don’t always listen to what the Holy Spirit tells us.

Proverbs 20:9 – Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”?

Jeremiah 17:9 – The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

I know that I have trouble with my heart everyday. We have to try to be like David, who was a man after God’s own heart. Even David sinned. I think that’s why he wrote this prayer in the Psalms:

Psalm 51:10 – Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Another thing I struggle with on a daily basis is my anger. I have always had a short temper, for as long as I can remember. Maybe this is because I grew up with so much anger and violence in my family. Maybe it’s just my heart. I don’t know exactly what causes me to anger so easily. It has been easier since I came to Christ, but I still find myself getting angry for little cause at times. This is especially hard and dangerous when you have kids. Children have a tendency to bring out the worst and the best in us. A child can provoke even the most patient man to anger. So much more for us who are easily angered. I have to be extremely careful not to lose my temper around my children, which at times can be extremely difficult. I have to be extremely careful not to end up like my father, who throughout my childhood always seemed angry, and lost his temper at the drop of a hat. I don’t want my children to grow up feeling the way that I felt.

I struggle everyday with reading my bible. Sometimes I let the things of the world distract me from what is really important, God’s Word. This is part of the reason I started this blog. To help keep me focused on what is important. To help me store up treasures in heaven and not on earth.

I struggle with intercessory prayer sometimes. It’s easy to pray for myself. We are all selfish in nature, and it’s easy to pray for ourselves. To pray for others can be difficult unless we are consciously aware of it. One thing I try to do when I pray is to make my prayers for myself the last thing I pray for if at all.

Spending quiet time with God is another thing I have trouble with. We live in such a fast paced world with so much stimulation. It can be hard to just stop everything, all the distractions and to listen for His Word in my heart, to rest in Him.

I struggle with helping my wife around the house sometimes. I have to consciously make myself help her with the housework sometimes. I know my wife appreciates it when I do help her out, especially here lately with her being pregnant and her chronic pain flaring up worse than it has before. This has kind of forced me to help with our son more on my days off as well. This can be hard to do especially after a long night at work.

These are some of the things that I struggle with on a daily basis. I can come up with more, however these are the most common, and hardest things to deal with for me. What do you struggle with in your walk with Christ?